The Unhinged Tool Box
Sponsored by Girlhood
This week I felt slightly unhinged. I have no explanation as to why- maybe it was equal parts residual pms, some boredom, and feeling a little stir crazy as I continue to embrace the knack of working from home (is there a knack? do you have a knack? someone share all the knacks!). Maybe it is just because I am a girl?!?!
When faced with a cloud of energy that you know is not your norm, you have two decisions to make- 1. you can do your best to punt it back to where it came from (easier said than done), or 2. you can run with it (not recommended).
I chose to run with my low energy cloud this week, and worse, let it into the drivers seat, which is also NOT recommended! But here I am, and I’m already on the other side- hehehehehehe.
Here are a few simple tools to access if you want to lean into the dark side and allow what could be written off as a bad mood to take over a week and drive you and everyone around you (ie. the person you live with) crazy!
Feel Sorry for Yourself
Wallow into a deep, deep rabbit hole about how everyone has it better than YOU. Itemize everything you have starting with your duvet cover, your job, your lower tummy pooch, the way your hair air drys, your skin, your clothes, your nails and your eyebrows and convince yourself that everyone has it better than you do. Have a week long pity party! You will quickly notice that feeling sorry for yourself is addicting, so while you’re wallowing in an ‘i hate everything’ party of one, you’ll probably also stub your toe, or accidentally drop a glass that then shatters, because you are literally looking for reasons to be upset.
Jump to Conclusions
This is an easy one, and could also be called ‘take everything personally’. Allow the ability to assume that you are being screwed over permeate every thought and interaction you have until you fully believe that you are being screwed over left and right. Also, is this girlhood?
Focus on What you are Lacking
In between every negative thought you are having during your pity party, focus on the things you dont have that seem like they could make things better during this clouded period, such as:
A second dog
A trip
An entirely new wardrobe
A $4,000 faux fur coat
Spontaneously cutting bangs
A $700 rug
Remodeling your entire house
Pondering if now is the right time to finally concede and buy a Vitamix. Amazon can have it here tomorrow by 2pm.
Be Mean
…to your husband, or wife, or usually the person closest to you who notices you are off. Take their gentle, loving recognition that you dont seem like yourself and use that as ammunition against them by manifesting it into things like:
Eye rolls while they are talking
Long dramatic sighs followed by shaking your head at nothing
Laughing to yourself while they are talking
Not listening to them try to ask you what you need
Ignoring them altogether
Using responses like ‘I dont know, ok?!?!?!’ and then storming out of a room theatrically.
Let out a long, ugly, guttural cry
Let me tell you a secret …If you are doing any of the above, truth is you probably just need to take a few deep breaths and have a good cry. But we cant see clearly when we are clouded, so instead we fight it by jumping to conclusions, focusing on what we dont have, and being generally bitchy.
The crying will come at the end of this process. Its the last step to releasing the cloud. And it wont be prompted by anything significant, instead it will happen when you accidentally drop that glass and break it, and watch it shatter on your kitchen floor.
You will cry like someone just told you the world is ending.
Cry, and cry, and huff and puff and sob and blow your nose into your shirt, and then….start to sort of giggle.
Let that giggle turn into a bit of a laugh- which will usually happen right as you get your ass up and take a look in the mirror.
Continue to laugh and cry to the point that the cloud starts sailing upwards, back into the abyss and your mind starts saying…ummm wait? what the fuck are we crying about? Why are we so angry?!?! What are you doing sitting on the kitchen floor??!? WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?
After you cry, you walk back through your house of doom and immediately start sweeping away the remnants of an unhinged week. This wardrobe? I fucking love it. This house, I am so grateful for it. Your eyebrows? Turns out they just needed to be brushed up. That text or email that you spent two days over interpreting- well turns out you read it with a filter of self pity, with clear eyes, it could actually be interpreted as a compliment.
So perhaps, leaning into the cloud is not always bad, you do come out the other end re-embracing your generally cheery perspective, you do feel more grateful, and best of all- you will get a really, really good laugh at how crazy you are capable of being.